Kine News June - October 2015

Anika Lyle’s Charity Day a huge success!

Anika Lyle, renowned philanthropist, held a fete and invited everyone to see the work she and her Helping Hands charity are doing in the Acle Straight. While there was a police presence on hand to ensure the public’s safety this reporter is happy to say that the day passed off without a hitch with the officers even joining in the fun, though of course they were on break when they did.

---

Shock Defeat for Local Wrestler!

Dexi, whose exploits in the ring have many suggesting that she’s going to make the jump to the national stage soon, was humbled last weekend in a bout with the relative newcomer The Crush. The fight seemed to be all about Dexi until the midway point when The Crush found a reserve of strength and guts that reminded me of the late, great Brawlin’ Pete. Can Dexi bounce back from this, and more importantly is there going to be a rematch!?

---

Local Self Help Guru Arrested

The disappearances of Eaton locals Richard Trubiek, Anna Trubiek, and Golden Triangle pub-owner Sascha Ferdinand may be connected to local ‘faith healer’ Enli Ningal.

Mr Ningal, who legally changed his name from Eric Dunway in 2012, is a popular figure in the Eaton area, and locals are protesting at the neighbourhood police stations, although Mr Ningal has been taken in for questioning elsewhere.

---

St Bernadette’s Grand Re-Opening

Mr Jacob Grey, noted activist for the homeless and other disenfranchised people, recently held a small ceremony to commemorate the restoration work he and his organisation have carried out. It’s wonderful to see such community minded people working tirelessly to preserve the historic essence of the city as we lose more and more of our heritage to the constant forward march of ‘progress’.

---

Miles Baker in Custody!

Following his disappearance following allegations of corruption, Miles Baker has been brought in for questioning. Though he declined to comment - we’ll let our readers decide on whether that’s a tacit admission of guilt or not - it’s clear that the Norwich Police Force are taking the allegations very seriously indeed. Mr Baker was arrested at the Lakenham Bus Station, presumably as he was trying to make his escape from the city.

---

Health Alert at Norwich Airport

Officials from the Department of Health (DoH) have recommended that anyone travelling abroad visit the DoH website and check the current status of their destination. This recommendation comes in response to several travellers falling ill soon after their return, two of whom are currently in the Isolation Ward of the N&N for their own and others’ safety.

Jeremy Carp, spokesman for Canary Air, was quick to downplay the warnings, stating that he was disappointed in the government for playing on the fears of people and reducing consumer confidence in the travel market. “Honestly, it’s like they’ve got nothing better to do than get everyone stirred up over what’s a very minor risk. We’ve got thousands of people coming through Norwich Airport every day and there have been a frankly insignificant number of cases.”