Kine News, April 2015

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Kine News, April 2015

Post by Hannah (Storyteller) on Fri Apr 17, 2015 10:00 pm

Encampments Protests

Reports are coming in that protests have begun in the Encampments, in advance of the annual clearing of transients. Claiming that the homeless people and travellers have nowhere else to go and that it is inhumane to "force" them to move on, the protesters are gearing up for the arrival of police and other personnel later this spring.

Spiritual Healing Continues to Grow

The Enli Ningal Spiritual Healing Centre of Pettus Road has announced plans for an extension to its grounds. The Pettus Road Co-operative recently shut its doors, and the S.H.C. has filed to buy the property and renovate it as part of a new Massage Therapy Unit.

Enli Ningal, leader of the S.H.C. and accredited psychotherapist and ‘self-help guru’, says that this expansion will allow the centre to reduce its long waiting lists and train new massage therapists.

“We wish to bring enlightenment and happiness to the area, and are very pleased that so many of the locals are supportive of this acquisition,” Mr Ningal was quoted to say last night.

Fights in Beleagured Lakenham Club

Reflex, the club that was closed in a drugs bust several weeks ago, was the site of a large fight that spilled out of control and onto the street. PCSOs and security from the neighbouring clubs were able to help those involved, and the managers of Reflex have been warned by local councillors to make sure the club is safe or see its licenses revoked.

A spokesperson for Reflex said that the club is 'a happening and hip night out - We can't promise total safety, but we can promise more fun and excitement than any of the other clubs out there. And as far as legal stuff goes, we'll be on the level from here on out'.

Wrestler Dexi Mops the Floor

WE PROMISED YOU CARNAGE, AND CARNAGE YOU RECEIVED! DEEEEXXIIIIIIII!

MURDERATIN JACK MURDOCH ALREADY WANTS A REMATCH. IS SHE GOING TO OBLIGE?

Unsuccessful Police Tip: Mild City Hall Disruption

Police were outside City Hall for several hours last Thursday following what appears to be an unsuccessful anonymous tip. DI Angie Solihull spoke to reporters this afternoon and said that "Unfortunately, as the investigation is part of an open case, we can't be as forthcoming as we'd like. Rest assured that there were no issues of public safety and no risk to those in the buildings, or they would have been safely evacuated."

Missing Teen Reuinted With Family
Missing teen Jewel Parfrey has been found and returned to her family by a member of the Norfolk Constabulary. Her family have declined to comment, but a source close to them says that "They're all overjoyed at having their little Jewel come back to them."
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Hannah (Storyteller)

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