Bardolatry, darlings

Friends, Kindred, countrymen, lend me your ears! I come to praise Prince Lockwood, not to bury her. After all, ‘et tu, Freddie’ doesn’t have quite the same ring, eh?

I’m not the only one declaiming, though - two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Norwich where we lay our scene...yes, Simone and Samuel are at it again, but little do they know that two of their lowliest followers have fallen passionately in love. Forced to insult each other publicly, how can these two ever reconcile?

Rumour has it that our Herald, Vox Princeps, has been heard whispering "Beware the green-ey'd monster" to people at random. That's not a very nice way to talk about our lovely Seneschal. And if you’re still feeling the strain from rent month, Travis is now accepting 'a pound of flesh' as appropriate payment for debts owed...any bets on what he's going to do with it? Certainly not serve it in a pie. Though I hear Sheriff Walker’s tastes have started to run to the strange.

Of course, with the Circle of the Crone hanging around on heaths, giving out easily-misinterpreted prophecies about kingship, who could blame him? And there was the my ‘kingdom for a horse’ incident. We don’t talk about that any more. There are some who say that Prince Lockwood’s Sire was poisoned, and she’s still deciding whether to take revenge on the person who did it! Come on, your Highness, make your mind up.

In other news, a shape-shifting donkey person claims to have met the fairy queen, but then, we all know that Ermenrich Fowler likes to embellish his stories…

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended—
That you have but slumbered here
While these visions did appear.
Give me your hands if we be friends,
And Robin shall restore amends.

(Oh, and Your Highness, I really am sorry about the tennis balls.)

With the greatest affection,
Freddie Hallam

...


Honestly, I'm gone for a couple of weeks, and this is what happens. Please, Mr Hallam, show some decorum.

Samuel Asinelli, Head Harpy